1. A unicorn may fly or eat brussels sprouts, but not both.
2. All flying unicorns think Jay Leno is funny.
3. All non-flying unicorns listen to National Public Radio.
4. Only someone who eats brussels sprouts would think Jay Leno is funny.
5. Everyone who listens to National Public Radio either thinks Jay Leno is funny, or has the ability to fly, or both.
6. Nobody who eats brussels sprouts, but can't fly, thinks Jay Leno is funny.

Nobody thinks Jay Leno is funny.
Nobody listens to National Public Radio.
Nobody eats brussels sprouts.
No unicorns exist.
None of the above.